Best Friends

Those words are thrown around a lot, when really they should be a sacred as “I love you”.

So what is a “Best Friend”?

• It’s the person that you do not necessarily spend all of your time with.
  
• It’s the person that puts as much effort into the relationship as you do.
  
• It’s the person that you would die for.
  
• It’s the person you are “in a relationship” with without the romantic connotations.
  
• It’s the person who loves you and doesn’t judge you (but may slap you around the head when you need it).
  
• It’s the person that will stand up for you no matter what, and pull you aside on your own later if you really are wrong.
  
• It’s the person who knows you the best out of everyone.
  
• It’s the person you can tell everything to.
  
• It’s the person who is family, without the blood ties.
  
• It’s the person who believes in you and encourages you no matter how far fetched your ideas seem.
  
• It’s the person who, if you mess up, may be hurt, but who realises that friendship is worth more than one stuff up and forgives you.

And a “Best Friend” isn’t:

• The person who puts your ideas and dreams down.
  
• The person that will readily trust someone elses word over your own.
  
• The person who shys away from backing you up when you are in trouble.
  
• The person who saps you emotionally without every giving back into your life.
  
• The person who talks about you behind your back.
  
• The person who doesn’t forgive if you mess up.
  
• The person who holds your mistakes against you.

I had a “best friend”.
I messed up. She would not, and has not ever forgiven me.

And you know what she messed up too. She took someone elses word over my own and would never even see me again to talk it out and find out the reality of the situation.

It was years ago and it still confuses me.

Sure I miss her, she was a big part of my life for so long. And every now and again I get curious and want to know what is happening in her world. So I have a quick sqiz at her blog, which I have just found is a huge no no. It is reminicing, it isn't living in hope that one day we would start our friendship up again. I have done all I can with that situation and had it thrown in my face.

Truthfully I was a little angry at the assumptions of my motivations at reading the blog entries. A mutual friend encouraged me to get angry, something about wanting to watch the sparks fly. But that isn't me, when I thought about it, I don't want to be that person who just flys off the handle because I may not like something.

I don’t hate her, I don’t hurt anymore, I don’t blame her for blaming me, I seemed like the obvious person involved. I took responsibility even though I am still confused about the enitre situation. And it is another story how all of that happened, which I may share one day.

But now, I have people in my world who are exactly what a best friend should be. And I am so greatful. And when I get married in January, all of the people I care about will be there, who care about me.

I always wanted her to be at my wedding, and unless some miracle happens she won’t be, but the people who love me the most, who stood by me through everything that has happened in my life. Who even when I mess up continue to stand by me. They will be there. They are the ones who are “BEST FRIENDS”, everything before now was just playing.

I have grown up a lot in the last few years, I see the world very differently than I used to. I am the sum of all of my experiences, and oyu know what, I'm so happy.